Digital Garden
By Yent Dirk
Dictionary in class
Is the social and political context that creates your identity in terms of race. Class, gender, sexuality and ability status also. How your identity influences and potentially biases your understanding and outlook on the world.

Movement that fights for woman’s right.
Movement that fights for different kind of woman’s rights. 
Stands for equality. 
Al persons are the same. 

Awareness of the past with in slavery 
Awareness of understanding the past, 
To order to correct the future.
To create a more inclusive
 and generally better one. 
Dehumanising and patriarchal.
Deconstruct neurocentric ideologies 
Abolish imposed idea’s. 

The job to make decisions, either for yourself or someone else.
Decision makers with a rational capacity to make strategic choices.
Moral agency: involves in being capable of assuming responsibility’s.

Critical thinking 
Thinking in multiply ways so that your spectrum of ways is broad.
Discovering the who, what, when, where, and how of things.
Then utilising that knowledge in a manner that enables you to determine what matters most.

Avoiding taking a stand. 
Nuance and neutrality is not the same. 
“Lets just say “gezellig”. 
Therefore taking stand for 
the people that are privileged, 
Instead of the minority. 
Being in centre in politics. 
Neutral is removing yourselves, 
From the situation.

Socially engaged art
art that actively engages itself with communities and current social topics of

the way you get influence by the way you've been raised, come from, gender, friends, background

Dictionary in my live since the appearance of this class
coincedence situation that happens to have a happy out come.

Non consensual:
with out permission, without the willing agreement of all the people involved.

Discrimination on the grounds of a persons age.

Reductive mess:
Considering or presenting something in a simple way, especially a way that is too simple. Trying to make a complex thing way too simple. Opposite:enhancing, enlarging.

Explores the meaning of the world of commodities, and reintroduces various notions of dialectal materialism into conversations on the subjectivity and vitalism of things.

Hetero patriarchal supremacy:
The social, political, and economic system in which heterosexual men are the dominant group in a society or culture

Someone who shows signs of mental disturbance but does not indicate complete psychosis.
"Neuro” comes from greek word “nerve” unsuccessfully repressed emotions from past experiences.

Colossal failure:
Can also be used to describe a large degree of something. Big failure.

The fact of never thinking about things that are serious or important. Lack of importance.

Crisis of proportion:
Having a crisis of parts to each other or to the whole. Having a crisis in balance.

The character or state of being universal; existence or prevalence everywhere.

To explain or tell the meaning of but then not often represented.

Something held as an established opinion. Doctrine, teachings, set off beliefs.

The good behaviour that is expected from a person who is trained to do the job well.

A body of methods, rules, and postulates employed by a discipline. Interview’s (which can be unstructured, semi-structured or structured) Focus groups and group interviews. Surveys (online or physical surveys) observations

Matrix connectivity:
the cultural, social, or political environment in which something develops. Within the state of being connected or interconnected.

Mode of inquiry:
Refer to the ways in which people identify and explore questions of interest. They are the systems and methods by which humans create, construe, and convey information.

The idea that you only make a serious connnection/ obligation to the people who belong to your own group.

Thinking from only a European position.

Gender: Cis female
Social class: Middle class
Race: white
Sexuality: I think at this point it's heteronormative. But I thought I was a lesbian from on my childhood to teenager. Because at the age of nine I was in total shock because I found out the boy I had a crush on had a wiener, that he showed by accident when we were swimming. At that point it was so traumatic that the crush immediately fated away. So this was why I started to think I was not into boys.
Dis/ability: insecurity/observing

My identity is formed in the centre of Amsterdam. Where I have been raised by mostly female members of my family, my mother and her sisters lived next to each other by a bit of good fortune. This meant that my grandparents could visit them easily all at once. Since they lived most of the year in the south of France. My mother and her two sisters carried ‘with’ and ‘for’ each other. Due to the lack of males. Who whether died, became addicts, or moved somewhere else, all three were gone. As a result, that I’m biased when it comes to male authoritarianism. At the age of 20 I decided it was time to leave the city and study art in Rotterdam. Where I had to redesign my life. I moved to the Hague and often enjoyed the beach there and wondered whether I was in the right place or not. Because where are you actually home? My position is something I’ve often wondered about, but mine in the world not so much. With my appearance as a white woman, I mostly drown in my privilege of possibility’s. And I feel spoiled and overwhelmed by all the choices I get to make. But also feel the frustration of powerlessness for the injustice and oppression in society, at home, at school, in the supermarket. As a single person you have very little influence, or at least it feels like that. Asking about your position in this world now a days feels like an impossible question to answer. Because words often fall short and nothing is certain because everything is transforming.
"We need to bring an end to the world as we know it. The current circles are created by 1% of the world."

"Culture is the way we give meaning to the world."

"Can you get detailed from your past?"Culture identity and diaspora"

"We got asked what do you want to learn in this class?" "I wrote don't feel like I have an answer but I'm open to anything." And then we had to speak about it in class, and I panicked so much that I almost wanted to leave. But I stayed and when it was my turn I noticed that my answer was totally okay. The strength of insecurity."

"Explore your own position, This helps understanding someones motive, ways of working, collaboration, among others. As well of being aware of relations, biases. What's the meaning who defines what, deconstructed, presupposed, exist, trough the consequent of one and other. IN context critical thinking."

"How the person you are effects the work your making."

Notes in class
How do you see your work in relation to specific references?
Welcome to meltdown season!

On Wednesday, my class started. I saw all the new faces. Younger than me, or at least that's what I thought, maybe I just felt like a 5th year student who hadn't passed her theory. My thoughts become small at the moment I will find myself in a situation where I might have to speak in public. “I feel so trapped must shut down emotionally to survive this present moment.” The rational brain is overwhelmed by the emotion of uncertainty. I looked at the door and thought of all kinds of excuses to leave the classroom without being noticed. "I have an appointment now, I couldn't schedule any other time." In which then the reflection shows, and my body just stays put. What do I want now? Maybe I'm less insecure than I thought, I didn't really go, did I? The woke-ism lesson has progressed in the meantime. What the fuck does this mean. Oh god what if I’m actually not smart enough. Does everyone have …? Hi I’m Yent and I’m in this class because my art practice is all over the place. And I wanna figure out what’s important for me.
Sometimes I wonder who I would be without the emotion insecurity. What’s the purpose of this, anyway. A mechanism to not be arrogant and say things too quickly? Let’s start with writing.
So for a while now, I only see blond girls everywhere. Walking, talking, cycling, in line, at parties, at school, they're everywhere. And somehow I've come to loathe them a bit. I was born with blond hair and blue eyes and then decided to cycle to the Kruidvat to paint it all dark. It turned out black and after a few washes it transformed to a dingy brown collar. I was happy and relieved because I wasn't the typical Aries breed anymore. But unfortunately after some time my hair started to grow. And formed a blond plague on the roots, on top of my head. Am I in an identity crisis? I look at the blond girls in my class, my blond friends and myself in old photos. Why don't I want to be who I used to be anymore?

Here is the catalogue of the artist I love:
Bill viola
Michel Majerus
Ed van der elske
Francis bacon
Pippiloti Rist
Puck Rietveld
Walter Scott
Jean-Micheal Basquiat
Frida Kahlo
Leonora Carrington
Casual conversation
between two people
in a hetero-normative
Comic drawing inspired by class and my deeply long frustration.
The fact that women are oppressed by hormonal contraception made by men. And that while a women's cycle is so complex, compare to a man's cycle.
And don't get me wrong. The fact that Anti-conception has arisen and that this gave women more freedom is a plus. But the way they were oppressed in this too is not okay. Putting in hormones, or a spiral in your body that doesn't belong there, is just weird. The fact that the male pill is still not used is a proof of this.
And this is so ingrained in society that every guy or boyfriend I've ever been with. Did not agree that I follow my cycle through my temperature and that this is a trustful/natural form contraception.
Reflection in class
Well, I’m deeply committed into this mode of not knowing. My art practice’s function is to… Express my feelings, express someone else’s feelings, express something, express an interest. And by this, I don’t feel the need to understand exactly what I’m doing. Because I think at all times, nobody really knows. And the way we have to speak about it, and not only in real life, is just a form of pretending to be something you're actually not. I make when I want to make something and if that means it comes out political, activist,  just beautiful or ugly. Then that’s just that. I like to learn, look and listen to others, which inspires me to continue what I’m doing.

New Materialism is a sticker that you can put upon something with modern woke themes. Reading the word 'discursive' over and over I realize that the whole structure upon, which this theory is built has nothing to do with anything in real life. The emotional aspect of art doesn’t seem relevant in this context and everything needs to exist in a web of connecting pieces. Where non-functions on their own. The fact that adding a post or new in front of a word already hints at the fact no solid structure is to be found in these terms. And that they are fluid overcomplicated collections upon which we construct, even more, abstract structures. I call this New Post-ism, and nobody needs to read any overspecific text about it. What takes out all the fun to read the text in the first place. There is a saying that how more difficult you are explaining things, the less you understand them. That or either that I'm not smart enough to understand this, but again. Finding a way how to implement compassion into an indifferent world. Maybe just by making art. Or maybe a network of linguistic colors to decorate the theory of art itself.
My comment on the beuatifull book from Bell Hooks.
That I by accident started to read this summer
Final Statement
When you look at the painting, you see chess blocks that are randomly placed and seem to keep growing toward the highest point of the painting. A cartoon-like king player and obliques above him a skull king player that seems to be dead. The chair and plant give the impression of silent fluctuation. And the skeleton and heart look like an offrenda, which is a Mexican tradition to honor loved ones that died. The overall feeling of the painting gives a view of the cycle of life.

The figurative movement lies between a surrealistic and cartoonist fields. It has a palette of multiple colours, which gives a joyful outcome. There is a balance between a rational vision that asserts the power of the unconscious. In some way, it invites a childish state of mind, of the flowing form of un-deceitfulness. An illustrative mystery that is trying to find purpose.

When I paint, it feels like an unexpected obsession, a spirit of spontaneity. Where the unconventional is overruling. And that sorted out to a compilation of my latest obsession with the Mexican tradition called: Dias de Muertos. Where they celebrate the life of death every year on the 1st & 2 of November. It is believed that on these days, the deceased may return to earth to visit the bereaved. When I started my research about this Mexican fiesta. I immediately thought about the question of cultural appropriation. Is it inappropriate for me to make art within the lines of this concept, or is it not? And where are the lines of cultural appropriation? Am I even allowed as a white woman from the Netherlands to get inspired by artists like Frida Kahlo and Leonora Carrington? And make work about it. And the answer to that question depends on what the outcome of my project is, but I can still not lay my finger on what is right and wrong. 

My interest in death comes from all the years I spent under the umbrella of grief. Whereas a teenager, I partly formed my identity around processing my father's unexpected death. This has always given me a source of inspiration, to create, and even how hard I tried to work around this subject, I always come back to it. It let me feel I am close to him in a way. Over the years, the process of mourning became something very individual and thereby really lonely. A conversation people rather prefer to avoid.  Which let me to the following question: Do we in the Netherlands pay enough attention to death and the accompanying phenomenon of mourning? I believe the Mexican tradition is something to look up to, and I had wished something like that was common in our culture. The thing that fascinates me the most about this tradition is the belief that the deceased may return to earth to visit the bereaved. I think It would have given me a day to look out for and some kind of reassurance. In my notebook from that time, I often wrote sentences where I fantasized about him responding to things I said or did. And even from time to time he appears in my dreams, where I remember in the morning an overall feeling of relief that I was able to visit him in something as surrealistic as my dreams. 
But I think in the end, traditions, or no traditions, it is my moral agency to engage with the process of grief. And to give an honest observation and translate it into visuals. Maybe the painting could be an invitation to think about the concept of grief, an opening to talk, and maybe even a celebration. But nevertheless, it is very important to notice my position and identity that influences my understanding and outlook on the project. 
Canvas 160cm x 150cm
Acryl, Oil, Chalk